False beliefs limit your relationship and potential. Positive beliefs on the other hand can help you trust yourself and make the most of your relationships.

A belief is what we assume is truth.

These are some examples of limiting beliefs?

I do/don’t, I can’t, I am/am not,

I must/mustn’t/should/shouldn’t, others are/will/would, How the world works is, he/she should, someone else would, if only!

Some reasons why we limit our beliefs?

Rationalising emotions, Experience, Education and Conditioning, Faulty logic, Excuse, Fear…………

It is negative or false beliefs that prevent us from being assertive.

Assertiveness is the ability to express emotions and needs without being aggressive. Assertiveness is the act of asking for what you want and saying what you think in a confident way. It means taking a risk! The risk is that you may not get the outcome you want or, at the very least, that you can’t control the outcome. Assertiveness is not about shouting or scaring anyone. ‘This is what I think, this is what I believe or feel! I might be right or wrong but…..’ Saying “I………” not “you…”

People who are not assertive do their best to please others or are passive and submissive while sacrificing their own needs because of the fear of rejection or disapproval or not being liked. It does not matter how hard they try they end up losing their self-confidence.

People with unhealthy beliefs or who are not assertive build negative emotions.

They might eventually explode because they can’t bear it any more, compensate in all kinds of unhealthy ways or they might become depressed. This can become the norm or a habit which can ruin any relationship. We need to learn how to be assertive and question negative or false beliefs.

Before you can change negative thoughts and feelings, you need to become aware of them. Before you can be assertive, you need to learn how. An objective professional can help you be more objective as well as understand and deal with the limitations of your beliefs and learn about assertiveness.